Annoying moments are often the most memorable ones because we learn important lessons from them. In today’s interesting episode, Tara Joseph and Dani Behr discuss their pet peeves and some things they personally find annoying. They share instances that made them feel uncomfortable and aggravated whilst trying to keep a smile on their faces at the same time. Listen to their fun but irksome moments!
Listen to the podcast here:
Grrrrr!!! Our Pet Peeves!
Dani And Tara And Their Pet Peeves
I’d like to start by asking Tara Joseph, how’s your solo For Love And Music podcast going?
I’m enjoying them. I’m enjoying getting to know my guests and hearing what they have to say.
This is your first foray into the world of interviewing in almost front of camera and mic. I’m an old one at this but for you, how is it? Did you feel you’re getting more confident, getting into the swing and groove of it?
I am enjoying it. When we first set out to do this, it was quite overwhelming because there were all the technical things that needed to be sorted out. As soon as I’d done the first episode, it became like I’d been doing it for years. That’s how it felt anyway. Hopefully, it sounds like that too. I’ve so far had some good feedback. Thank you for asking. How are you enjoying yours?
I feel like I’m back on the old bike again. It does feel good to be back in the old broadcasting chair with my mic in hand. It’s comfortable for me. It’s what I love and know. I do feel like I’m back on the horse again. It feels a natural place for me to be. I enjoy it as well. I have some wonderful guests and looking forward to some many more. I wanted to mention that I had a funny guest. His name is Adam. He’s somebody I work with in the real estate world. He’s known by himself and his friends as the self-proclaimed ‘Cranky Jew’. He is the funniest.
We can say that because we’re both Jewish.
He says it for himself. It’s his own self-proclaimed title. When somebody is irritated, bothered and easily annoyed, I find those people funny. I don’t know why I find comedy in other people’s discomfort.
They get wound up over the most ridiculous things and they don’t see how ridiculous they are.
It’s not necessary that he’s ridiculous. I just find comedy in his discomfort and it’s quite masochistic or should I say sadistic? I find him hilarious. I wanted to do an episode on pet peeves and irritations and what gets all goats going, because he was coming out with all sorts. One of his pet peeves was when he has to go to a big group dinner party. He’s sitting around a table of 10 to 15 people and when he’s done, he’s done. He’s had enough. He doesn’t care what courses are on. They could be there for 2, 3, 5 hours. When he’s done, when he’s passed the 2.5-hour mark or whatever time it is, he’s done. He’s like, “I am not there to keep everyone. I get up and I leave.” I’m like, “How do the rest of the table, the rest of the guests and your partner deal with it?” He goes, “I don’t care. I’m done.”
Adam could be my new best friend because I am exactly like that. I’m always the first to arrive and the first to leave. I get to a point where I’m like, “I’m done now.” What irritates me is when someone invites you for dinner and they don’t serve you dinner for two hours. You’re chatting there for two hours and you’re getting the odd little nibble, then two hours later you’re served food. By that time, I’m like, “I’ve had enough. I just want to go home.”
What’s the dinner policy protocol? If it says 8:00 PM invitation, should dinner be served at 8:00 PM or should it be 8:30?
I would say, 8:30 or 8:45.
When you’re cooking, you have a timeline of the timing that you’ve cooked your food but if you wait too long, it’ll get cold.
I have friends who don’t start cooking until you get there.
That’s wrong. That’s annoying.
Honestly, it’s happened multiple times. You get there at 7:00 and the food’s not ready until 10:00. I’m like, “I love you dearly. I love your company, but I cannot sit here for three hours chatting to you before you’ve served me a carrot.”
Here’s the deal, if you are inviting people for dinner, arrival time is arrival time. You need 20, 30 minutes of small talk, a drink and the settling time. They’re there to eat. They’re not there to watch you cook. They’re not there to help you decide what you’re cooking or how you’re setting the table. Your table should be set, your food should be pretty much done and your food is on the warmer ready for people to sit down. That’s a good dinner party host.
It’s fun when you’re sitting around the table and you’re having chit chat. Afterward, with the coffee or the aperitif or whatever it might be. I don’t want to sit there prior to eating.
Get everyone in, give them a quick drink to warm up, get them at the dinner table and give them their food. When people have a full belly, they’re happy.
What do you do when you go to a dinner party and you’re invited by a friend, you’re sitting there with his or her friends and you realize you don’t like her or his friends or anyone there?
Even your friend, you’re like, “I don’t even like my friend anymore because of the bad choice of friends my friend has.” You’re suddenly like, “I feel ill. I must go,” or, “I got a call from the babies.” The children are brilliant for excuses, for getting in and out of situations. If your children bring anything into your life, it’s that great excuse to leave a place and leave early. I go, “I’ve got a text from the kids. I’ve got to get back. One’s not well. The babysitter has got to leave. She’s got an emergency. She had to leave early, so must run.” Children are brilliant. Unfortunately, you have a cat. You can’t say the cat called. That’s not going to work for you. I would play the sick card because no one can argue with that. I would play the children card because no one can argue with that.
Migraine is always a good one.
Until somebody goes, “Let me give you a couple of Advil,” and then you’re screwed. What do you do?
“I have to lie down. The bed is not comfortable. I’ve got to go.”
“I’ve got diarrhea,” nobody wants anyone with diarrhea ever. Nobody wants you throwing up in their loo or diarrhea-ing anywhere in the house. That’s a good one. They’re not going to make you stay for that. Go with that.
I’m going to say, “Hi, everybody. I’ve got bad diarrhea. I’ve got to leave.”
They’re not going to be like, “Yes, please stay.”
I was on this date once with this guy who my mother thought would be perfect for me. It’s a long time ago.
What did that date look like? What was perfect that your mother wanted for you? Was he a single man?
He was a single man. He was successful and my mother thought he’d be a great shidder. For people that don’t know what that means, it’s Yiddish for match. He wasn’t Jewish but looked Jewish. We went to E&O, which is a restaurant in West London in the UK. He ordered all of this food that was delicious and I sat there like, “I can’t do this. This person is not for me.”
Why? Is it because he ordered food?
No, because I don’t like him. I was there for my mother and not for me. I got a terrible migraine after the Peking duck arrived and I left.
You didn’t stay for the duck?
I didn’t stay for anything.
What a waste of food. Is it at that point you realized that you like women and not men? Was it before or long after?
I had already discovered that I liked women.
He had no chance whatsoever.
I was doing it because I thought he’s got it all going, but it was not right. That migraine kicked in. He didn’t have any Advil.
What did you say?
“I’ve got a terrible headache. I’m sorry, I can’t be here.”
Did he try calling you for a second date?
I never heard from him again. He married the daughter of someone else that I know. They’re very happy.
I’ve been on a bad date where I used to have a bit of a system. I used to do all my dates at this restaurant in London called Little Italy. My friends used to own the restaurant. This is in Soho, in the heart of London, and they had a big Italian restaurant that would be open all 24 hours. I used to take all my dates there and I had this set thing with the owners, Luigi and Tony. I’m like, “I’m on a date,” and they used to put me in a balcony area. That was my table because I lived there. I took all my meetings in there and all my dates.
That’s where you told me you were moving to America, up at that table.
Probably, I didn’t tell you that we were on a date though. I was at my table which was the front table at the edge of the balcony looking into the rest of the restaurant. I used to have this signal thing with Luigi or Tony. I’d say, “I’m on a date. If I give you the thumbs-up through the balcony bars, it’s all good. Don’t bother me. Don’t disturb me. If I give you the thumbs down through the bars of the balcony, come upstairs with emergency phone calls.” He would wait for the thumbs up and if I like the fellow, I sneak a little thumb out through the balcony bars and they’d leave me alone.
If there were thumbs down, Luigi or one of the other managers would rush upstairs and be like, “Dani, there’s an emergency call for you. You must come right now.” I’d be like, “I’m sorry, what’s happened? I must go.” We had this whole shtick where we had this whole thing and I’d be like, “I’m sorry, I must leave.” They would usher me downstairs and there was more of a private room. I’d wait there until they got rid of the guy. Off he would go and then I’d come back up and carry on and invite some friends over.
When I was about sixteen, I met this boy who I liked. My mother said it was fine for him to come and stay, but he was going to sleep in the guest room. My mother spoke to his mother and it was all proper and sorted out and above board. I can’t remember his name. We went out for the day together and we went down into the tube station. This is in London, everybody. He got on the tube before me and the doors closed. I couldn’t get onto the tube to be with him and I never saw him again. He waived, the doors closed, I couldn’t get in in time and that was it.
Was he not staying at your house that night?
Yeah, but he never turned up. He got onto the tube. The door closed before I could get on. He smiled and that was that. He took off.
There’s more investigation.
No, there isn’t. That was it. I never saw him.
Was it on purpose?
Probably. He left me.
He probably left you.It’s irritating when you go on a holiday with friends and a person you are not familiar with joins you. Click To Tweet
He left me on the tube station and my mother had gone to all this effort with the spare bedroom and I never saw him again. I didn’t have any success with men.
That’s clearly why you went to the other team.
Another time, I was seeing this other guy who was a lawyer.
Don’t tell me your mother set you up with this one.
No. I’m probably about in my late twenties at this point. I thought this guy liked me. I’m sitting on my bed and the phone rings. I think he’s called Adam. He calls me up and I pick up the phone and I go, “Hello?” He goes, “Hi, I’ll be around in ten minutes.” I’m like, “Adam, is that you? I didn’t know you’re coming around.” He went, “I’m putting the phone down.” He did it again and wrong number.
What is brilliant about that is he did it twice. Not realizing there was probably another Tara he was banging on the side and he kept calling the wrong Tara. That’s probably what happened there.
That’s the story of my life.
What about personal space? Let’s move on to that. Adam, my podcast guest on the Behr Essentials, mentioned this. He cannot stand it when somebody is standing too close to him in a line where he’s feeling their breath on the back of his neck. It winds him up. I don’t like someone too close, somebody who is breathing too close. It’s like, “Back off. You don’t need to be that close,” and stinking of BO. You don’t need to get close to somebody in a line. Give it two feet in front, two feet behind.
You have to say, “Excuse me, you need to be space aware.”
Is that what people say? I’ll be like, “Back off, you’re too close.”
The first date I took Alyssa on with my mother and Tony for them to meet her, it was at Daphne’s in London. This man behind kept hitting his chair into my chair and I was getting aggravated. It’s annoying. He was sitting and banging me and I’m like, “This is annoying me.” They’re all like, “Stay calm, Tara. It’s okay.” Eventually, I stand up and I turned around to this man and I go, “You need to be space aware.”
Was he in a wheelchair?
No, he wasn’t in a wheelchair. He was being inconsiderate.
It’s like on a plane, somebody constantly pushing the tray table and digging into your chair. That’s annoying as well and very irritating. Do you know what else is irritating? When you’ve been friends with someone for quite some time and then you all decide to go on a holiday, on a vacation together. You get there and 40 hours in, your like, “Who is this person? I can’t stand them.” They are completely different. I didn’t realize that two hours with this person was great, but more than two hours is hell on earth.
Have you been in that position? I did that with the girls back in, I don’t even know what year it was, but we all went to Miami together when we were about 20, 21, 22 and one of them showed up. She would never pay for anything. She was one of those, “You owe me $0.10.” Meanwhile, we’d all bought all the rounds of drinks and all paid for the taxis. When it was her time to pay, she was always in the toilet or doing something. She never paid for anything and she was always moaning. Meanwhile, we’re moaning and complaining right now. This was on vacation. It’s funny, isn’t it?
I went backpacking when I was in my early twenties around Indonesia.
Tara and backpacking in the same sentence. Did that happen?
I used to rough it. I went backpacking in Indonesia with someone I didn’t know. The second we set foot in Singapore en route to Sumatra, we realized we hated one another. When we got to Sumatra, we went to the northern part of Sumatra which is the jungle in Bukit Lawang. We were staying in this little shack place and all this girl wanted to do was sleep her way around Indonesia and get as stoned as possible. Neither of those two things was on my agenda. I abandoned her in the jungle and left.
She’s been eaten by tigers.
No, it was orangutans. They’d swing by. It was a beautiful place, but I couldn’t bear being with her.
I figure it was the backpacking in general. That’s not for you, Tara.
I had an amazing time, but I did it alone.
Alone with the orangutans.
For six weeks, I did.
Traffic in LA is not nearly as irritating to me as traffic in London, I have to say. Traffic in LA seems worse because there are seven lanes of it. It looks worse but it slowly, steadily moves. Occasionally, you’re in standstill, but usually you’ll move. London, you will sit there and you could turn your engine off for twenty minutes and you don’t go anywhere. Have you ever been stuck on the M25? It’s awful. The streets in London are little and there’s usually one lane and its traffic. It irritates me. That’s another thing that gets on my nerves. People that don’t have personal hygiene or don’t wear deodorant. When I go to my workout classes or dance classes, there’s always one person that stinks of BO. Everyone else manages to make an effort to wear deodorant because you know you’re going to sweat. Why do people think that they don’t smell? Even if you may think you don’t smell, put it on as a precaution just in case. On this one occasion, I might sweat and smell. Let’s not everyone else be repelled by it.
Bad breath, that’s not nice.
How close do you get into people? I didn’t know that. People that talk in your face is awful.
If you’re talking to someone at a reasonable distance, that is halitosis.
That comes from the stomach, like stomach bacteria.
Do you think people want to listen to us talking about halitosis and BO?
Probably not. It’s personal hygiene. A little spritz, that’s all you need.
Smoking and stale smoke, that’s another pet peeve. That’s awful.
That doesn’t bother me as much. BO is way worse. I don’t like the smell of marijuana.
I quite like the smell of marijuana. Everywhere in California smells marijuana. I like the smell of it.
I don’t like the smell. I prefer cigarette smoking smell than weed smoking smell.
Do you? We’re the opposite.
That’s on the smoking preference. What irritates me as well is going to a pop or rock concert and they don’t sing any of the songs that you know. It’s irritating.
Why do they do that? I know they want you to hear their new material, but you need to hear their best and greatest hits.
Nobody wants to hear the new stuff because they don’t know it yet. Pop stars and rockstars reading, if there are any, do stuff that’s been released that we know. Either release everything first and then do the tour.
You know you want to promote your new songs, then mix it up with songs we all love.
Do one new song. Not more than one because that’s annoying, because nobody knows it.
Yeah, but they got to throw in a few new songs.
You’re the music manager, you know these things. Do you know what else is irritating? When you find your favorite colored nail varnish or lipstick and then they discontinue it. It’s selling, why do that? You’ve found the perfect shade and they stop making it.
You know how I feel about nail varnish. My nails always look fabulous. They always look gorgeous. I don’t generally wear nail varnish, but I agree with you about the old lip gloss.
Any lip shade, any makeup or beauty product that you have found that you follow and you’ve used for years and they decide to discontinue, it’s irritating.
We should end this episode by saying something that makes us happy. What makes you happy?
When my kids aren’t complaining and when I have fun with them. That makes me happy. Dancing makes me happy. I use it as my workout.
Are you a good dancer?
I’m quite good, I don’t know.
I’ve never seen you dancing that way.
I’ve got good rhythm. I enjoy it and I’m coordinated. I suppose the combo of all those things makes me okay. Am I about to go on stage in a secret bodysuit and do the merengue? No. My ultimate thing would be to be on Strictly Come Dancing because I would love to learn all those different dance style and do something like that. That would be fun.
That’s not my ultimate goal.
I’m not saying it’s my ultimate goal, but I enjoy doing that is what I’m saying.
Not that I would ever be on Strictly Come Dancing, because I’m not a celebrity.Someone inviting you for dinner and they do not serve you food for two hours can be quite annoying. Click To Tweet
For all our US readers, it’s Dancing with the Stars UK version.
I would be terrible on that show because I am uncoordinated. It will be mortifying.
You love to go in the jungle or do Big Brother or one of those other things.
I’m happy when I’m walking my dog. I love to hike.
I do love a nice walk on the beach if the sun is shining and nice blue skies. I’m a bit obsessed with food. I love my food and I love sushi and Japanese food.
You eat quite a lot. You don’t look like you do, but you eat a lot.
It’s simple mathematics to me. Honestly, it’s what comes in must go out. If I’m eating a lot of rubbish, just work out. That doesn’t work for everybody because genetics do play a part in that and metabolism is a big part of that. What you eat should be burnt off. It’s a simple in calorie, out calorie.
For me, if I’m stressed, it’s like I haven’t eaten. I could eat ten chickens and four loaves of bread and if I’m stressed that calorie intake burns off through mental strain, anguish.
When I’m stressed, I lose weight. When I’m happy, I eat. I’m eating all the time. I must be quite happy then. I’m a bit of a grazer like you. I like snacking a lot. It’s because the mouth has to be moving all the time.
On that note, we’ve shared with you our pet peeves ending on a little high note.
There are a couple happier things. Where’s your favorite restaurant in LA? Where do you love to go on a date with Alyssa?
I am not a frou-frou kind of diner. I don’t like eight courses, but I don’t like foam. I don’t like all of that frilly food. I’m not into a Michelin starred restaurant.
There’s a time and a place for everything. Sometimes, you want a bit of IHOP.
I like the Hole In The Wall and Izakaya. I like chicken wings, burgers and fries. I love Mexican food and Chinese food, although the Chinese food is much better in London. I’m sorry, LA. Indian food is much better in London. I love pizza. I’ll go anywhere where we can have something casual.
It’s the time and the place though, because there are certain things and certain moments where you need a bit more of a special occasion. You can’t go and have your chicken wing on a big anniversary or a big birthday dinner. That’s not special. It’s great for a Wednesday night dinner, but sometimes you need the fancy experience where you do taste a bit of foam and an edible flower or whatever else nonsense they put on your plate. Some of those experiences have taste sensations, they’re incredible. To be fair though, every time I’ve done one of these degustation eight-course meals, I’m starving afterwards. I have to go and have an In-N-Out burger at the end. Four hours to get three peas and a Cuban.
I can’t be bothered with all of that.
The food was not filling.
I hate Aspic.
What is that?
Aspic is that jellified savory jelly stuff. It’s disgusting.
Anything rubbery like that, I don’t like that texture. I like crunchy. What food makes me happy? I like a bit of everything. It depends on the date and the time and the place. I love going to the movies. I love seeing movies on the big screen.
I love my AMC membership. It’s the best thing ever.
I go to Pacific Theaters. My children’s great-grandfather started in Pacific Theaters. We have a bit of loyalty there. I love the new IPIC, the ones with the lounge. Those are brilliant, aren’t they?
They’re the best.
I love it when they bring the food to me when you press the button. I feel like I’m on the plane. Press the button, there’s my drink, my snack and my legs are up elevated. It is a great night out. That’s a good place to be on a bad date because you don’t have to talk to anybody.
This was supposed to be about pet peeves and now it’s turning X-rated.
We will be back on La La Landed with our next episode. Please make sure to join us. Thank you so much for taking the time to follow Tara and I. Thank you. We’ll catch you soon.